Well, here is the deal I always thought that me and Raven would be together in the end and that everything would always be okay. That we would grow old together, have kids, lots of them, and live in our own little place and never stop loving each other. What happened? What went wrong? Why did things go wrong? wait I know the answers to these questions. He finally found himself, the bad thing is that the raven I loved isnt there anymore. I don't feel anything for the raven that is there now. He is different. It makes me feel odd. Different. Guilty of doing nothing. Awful. Dead. Almost what I wish I was. I hate it whe ones heart hurts. I mean literally hurts. When it screams at one to grow up, to remember him as he was and not how he is. Its tearing me up inside. I dont know what to do. I thought this time was for real. People say third times the charm well this was our third time, third wedding engagement, third time in love all over again. I hate it. I hate myself for believing it would work. I hate myself for believing I was in love. I hate myself for say I was in love. I hate that I am alone again just as I thought I always will be...I just dont know what to do, Im always alone and yet always surrounded. My soul cowers in the corner of my mind and I can't bring it out. Its always there. Almost always alone, lost, confused, and no matter what it is always dark. That is one thing I did learn from my dear raven. Despite the lite that I wanted to exist in my soul it was only full of darkness and shadows.